How To Emotionally Prepare For The Four Phases Of A Job Search [Repost]

Job searches require constant commitment, even when your mental, physical or emotional energy is running low. This wouldn’t feel like an unsurmountable task if job searches were over quickly, but they rarely are.

According to a survey done by the recruiting company Randstad USA, the average length of a job search is five months, with 82% of participants describing their search as a stressful experience.

If you decided to kick off the new year with a job search or are continuing the one you started in 2019, here’s how you can expect to feel in each stage of the process, along with tips to help you persevere. 

Phase 1: Kicking off

Kick-off is by far the easiest phase. Your energy is usually high and most of your thoughts will be optimistic.

Don’t try to temper your expectations or assume your positive attitude is naive. In fact, the hopefulness you feel in the early stages of a job search is in recognition of the true opportunity that stands before you.

Few things in life will transform your daily experience faster than finding a new job. Everything from corporate culture to the skills you develop to your level of autonomy has the potential to change when you start in your new role. And of course, there are the changes that will come if the position enhances your personal life with better pay or work-life balance.

While you may have been thinking about finding a new job for a long time, the process will not begin until you start the basic job search activities. If you aren’t working on your résumé and LinkedIn profile, you have not kicked off your search yet.

The biggest emotional challenge in the kick-off phase comes from fighting off procrastination. You may fear that a job search will be uncomfortable and often includes rejection, but don’t waste precious time failing to get started: job searches are long enough already.

Try not to become obsessed with your résumé, as this can be another form of stalling from starting your search. There is no perfect version; as long as your résumé is error-free and tailored to the jobs you want most, it is probably good enough to start sending.

Move to the next phase as soon as you can because it will take the most time and energy.

Phase 2: Finding leads

The lead generation phase is where you’ll identify job opportunities and drum up initial interest in your candidacy. This includes sending emails, having networking calls, meeting with mentors and new contacts, searching job boards, and having initial job-screening phone calls with recruiters.

This phase of your job search will feel extraordinarily long because it often overlaps with the other phases as new opportunities can surface at any time.

What’s difficult about generating job leads is the unavoidable awkward feeling of asking people in your network to help you, combined with the frustration of wasting a fair amount of your time applying to jobs or having conversations that never seem to lead anywhere.

Start now to prepare yourself for both of these feelings. Asking for help in your job search can make you feel vulnerable, especially if you tend to be the person that usually helps others. You’ll have to get over this feeling to leverage the power of your network and attract the best jobs.

Keep in mind that this period is the bridge between dreaming for a new job and having your chance to sell yourself during an interview. Interviewing is a tangible step and will bring with it the feeling of progress, where lead generation often feels unproductive.

Try your best to remember that every job seeker spends most of their time in this phase, doubting if their efforts will ever pay off. If you feel like your job search isn’t gaining traction fast enough, you are not alone.

Phase 3: Converting opportunities

Once your job leads turn into interview requests, you shift into the next phase of your search. While some people do enjoy interviewing, most find it stressful.

During interviews, you will only have a short period of time to make a memorable impression and prove your value. You are expected to come off as competent, smart, likeable, humble and confident all while skillfully answering unexpected questions and remaining relaxed.

It’s next to impossible to leave an interview without wishing you’d done something differently. Even if you ultimately get the job, you may spin for days about what you should or shouldn’t have said before finally learning the hiring decision. If you don’t get the job, you may spend additional weeks picking apart your performance.

Second-guessing yourself is counterproductive during a job search. 

Studies show that self-compassion is highly correlated with regulating emotions, which you will need to do extensively throughout the interview and negotiation stages.

Of course you want to learn from your mistakes, but often these mistakes are too minor to worry about and are unlikely to occur again.

Before entering an interview, promise yourself that you will do your best and then choose to be satisfied with wherever that leads you.

Phase 4: Negotiating

It’s a shame that this phase can be painful, since receiving an offer is a clear sign of success. Unfortunately, the pressure to negotiate can undermine much of the excitement.

First, if you are wondering if you should negotiate at all, the answer is most likely yes. There are a few places where job offer negotiation is considered outside cultural norms, but in many countries, and especially in North America, negotiation is permitted and even expected at all levels.

That doesn’t mean that you will get what you ask for. It simply means that you should always request a reasonable increase in your compensation or additional work-life benefits, even if you are happy to take the offer first presented. The worst thing that can happen is that they say no and you accept the offer as is.

In practice, it’s common to fear coming off as greedy and losing the offer altogether. Once you make it all the way to phase four of a job search, the last thing you want to do is start over. However, it’s extremely unlikely that your offer would be rescinded. What is more likely is that you will undervalue your worth and end up regretting not negotiating your offer.

Offer negotiation is not about forcing demands. You’re making additional requests because you have invested a lot in your job search and you want to get the best possible return. You owe it to yourself after all you’ve been through.

Finding a new and better job will test your emotional fortitude, but don’t get discouraged. It is ultimately worth the effort.

Kourtney Whitehead is a career expert and author of Working Whole. You can learn more about her work at Simply Service.

The article was first published on Forbes by Kourtney Whitehead January 12 2020